


Sweetheart, What Have You Done To Us?

by valkysrie



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Memory Loss, Slow Burn, everyone is alive because it's what they deserve
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-02-28 15:01:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13273935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/valkysrie/pseuds/valkysrie
Summary: Clarke loses her memory in a car accident and has to fit the missing pieces of her life back together.





	1. Chapter 1

        There was something so familiar about him, but she knew she had never seen him before. His eyes were soft and warm and everything about him made her feel safe. He was looking at her with a sad expression, one too pained for that of a stranger. She could see the muscles in his jaw ticking and tears begin to form in his eyes. He was angry and sad. She didn’t know why.

The man whose name tag read “Blake” handed her the cup of coffee she had ordered and mumbled a quick “Have a nice day.” His voice was rough, sounding like rocks under a tire. It was strained, and he sounded so heartbroken. Clarke didn’t know why, but she wanted to hug him and tell him that everything was okay.

But, she didn’t. She left the shop and got in the passenger seat of her best friend’s car.

“What’s that look?” Wells asked, not holding back at all as he pressed on the gas.

“Oh, uh-nothing. Just that guy in there, I feel like I’ve met him before. Weird right?” Clarke shrugged her shoulders and sipped her coffee slowly, making sure not to spill any as Wells drove faster than was probably safe.

Wells’ eyes widened slightly at Clarke’s words, but he said nothing, just nodded his head and looked out at the road.

“What are you doing?” Clarke asked, raising her eyebrows in confusion as Wells parked in front of a house Clarke didn’t recognize.

“I have some people I want you to meet.” Wells answered, turning off the car and stepping onto the driveway. Clarke nodded, slightly confused and followed suit.

The house was gorgeous. It wasn’t huge, but it looked almost rustic, with the white pillars and French windows. Clarke didn’t know what the inside looked like yet, but she was already in love with the exterior.

“So, why exactly are you having me meet these people and why only tell me now?” Wells gave Clarke a sad smile and sighed.

“I just-you’ll like these people. Just c'mon.” He said, gesturing for her to follow him to the door. He knocked three times before someone answered.

A girl answered, her hair was tied into a high ponytail, exposing her beautiful facial features and tan skin. She wore a red bomber jacket and khaki colored pants. She was gorgeous and a little intimidating.

Wells gave her a bright smile, his cheeks tinted slightly red before smirking and asking if they could come inside.

“Um yeah, come on in guys.” She said, waving her hands frantically towards the inside of the house. Clarke looked to Wells with a wary expression before walking inside.

The inside of the house was nothing like the outside. All the furniture was modern and there was equipment and blueprints everywhere, spread out of the table, nailed to the wall, and throwed over the couch.

Clarke noticed five people around the room, all looking at her with expectant eyes. She felt her palms begin to sweat at all the attention before Wells cleared his throat and moved next to Clarke, placing his arm around her shoulder.

        “Everyone, this is Clarke Griffin, my best friend since forever.” They didn’t look surprised and Clarke figured Wells had talked about her before. “And Clarke, this is Raven, Murphy, Jasper, Monty, and Octavia.” Clarke looked around and smiled at the new faces, they smiled back but something was off.

        “Nice to meet you all.” She said quietly, looking at Wells who was still giving her that sad expression.

        “You too Clarke, and there’s more of us. My brother Bellamy and his friend Miller should be here shortly after their shift.” Something tugged in Clarke’s chest at the mention of that name. She didn’t know why. The girl smiling brightly at Clarke was beautiful, her eyes were a deep green and her features were sharp and almost exotic looking. Her dark hair cascaded down her back and Clarke wondered what all those tattoos peeking out of her tank top meant.

        Octavia gestured for Clarke to sit, she looked up at Wells who nodded reassuringly at her. She sat on the sofa next to who she now knew as Raven. Clarke could feel the tension in the room and she wished she could somehow make it go away. 

        “So, Clarke, tell us a little about yourself.” Jasper said, propping his head in his hands. He wore a huge grin but again, something was off. Clarke shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She didn’t like how everyone was looking at her.

        “Um well, I recently graduated from college. Uh I like to make art, and I’m currently trying to learn the guitar but Wells over here isn’t the best teacher.” Clarke joked, trying to lighten the atmosphere. 

        “Oh, Bell’s great at the guitar, he used to be in a band in high school, he can teach you if you’d like.” Octavia suggested. There was that tug again.

        Everyone looked at Octavia, their eyes wide and lips pursed. Clarke rose her eyebrows, not understanding.

        “That’d be great.” Clarke answered politely, smiling.

        “What would be great?” Clarke turned around and saw the boy from earlier, the one in the coffee shop, entering the apartment. Another boy was with him. His eyes widened slightly as he took her in and then it happened again. That sad look in his eyes, the same one she had seen earlier.

        “Clarke.” His voice sounded strained and he was blinking rapidly as if he were holding back tears. Clarke tilted her head, surprised that he had remembered her. Surely, he received hundreds of customers a day.

        “Hello. You’re the guy from the coffee shop, right?” Clarke knew he was, but didn’t want to sound creepy, as if she hadn't already memorized every freckle on his face and curl on his head.

        “Yeah.” He choked out. Clarke wondered why he sounded as broken as she felt. She wondered why she felt broken. “Uh-I’m gonna go take a shower, O. It’ll just be like ten minutes, wait for me, yeah?” Bellamy said, shifting his eyes between his sister and Clarke nervously.  Octavia nodded in response, looking incredibly sad.

        “Where are we going?” Clarke asked, once Bellamy had already started his shower. Everyone was still looking at her with pity and it was driving her crazy. “Okay what the hell is up with you guys? Why are you all looking at me like that?” She stood up, placed her hands on her hips and glared at Wells, confused and frustrated.

        “It’s just, you remind us all of someone we lost.” Raven spoke up, bowing her head in shame or sadness, Clarke wasn’t sure.

        “She was our best friend you know? Kind of the leader of our group, Bellamy loved her a lot, that’s why he looks at you like that.” Octavia explained. Clarke understood better now, even wished she could help them somehow. She didn’t know why Wells would bring her over here if it was just going to hurt them all.

        “I’m sorry. How did it happen?” She wasn’t sure if she should ask but it felt wrong to just say  _ sorry _ . Wells looked at her with soft eyes and sighed deeply.

        “It doesn’t matter. She’s gone and she’s not coming back. Let’s go.” Bellamy interrupted, coming from his bedroom and grabbing his keys, storming outside the house. Clarke winced as the front door slammed shut, shaking the walls slightly.

        Clarke had the urge to go after him and ask if he was okay but she didn’t know why. She had just met this man and so far he wasn’t exactly welcoming. Wells must have noticed her expression because he wrapped his arm around her waist and told her it was okay. 

 

        “He’s just angry now. All the time really.” Octavia told her once they were in the car. Bellamy was driving, Raven was sitting shotgun, and Wells, Octavia and her were in back. The others were in a separate car. Bellamy pretended not to hear Octavia but Clarke knew he did, his knuckles turned white from clenching onto the steering wheel so tight.

        “Because of her?” Clarke asks, catching Bellamy’s gaze in the mirror. Again, that sad expression and the tugging of her heart.

        "She was everything to him. They didn’t get along at first but once they got over themselves, they were inseparable. She was his best friend. If he was sick, she’d bring him soup, if she was sad, he’d go over and watch Harry Potter with her just to cheer her up. Somewhere along the way, they fell in love.” Octavia smiled fondly at the memories.

        “She sounds special.” Clarke whispers, gazing out the window wondering why it all hurt so much.

        “She was.” Bellamy mumbled. 

        Clarke wondered the whole ride there, why Wells had invited her to this. These people seemed like great friends and she only knew Wells. She felt as if she was intruding, especially with everyone’s wary gazes directed towards her.

        As they all stepped into the bowling alley, Clarke had never felt more out of place. She was with a group of close friends and she was an outsider, she shouldn’t even be there. Bellamy and Octavia went to order their shoes and some food as the rest sat down by the balls and pins.

        The place was nice, decorated with blues and purples, making it look very 80’s. She liked it, it almost felt familiar. She had probably gone when she was a kid.

        Bellamy and Octavia came and sat with them when they were done, handing them each a pair of bowling shoes. Clarke met Bellamy’s eye while he handed her them and she could’ve sworn that something flashed through his eyes. It was sad and broken and maybe even a little angry.

        “So, how long have you guys known Wells?” Clarke asked, she was curious how Wells seemed to know them well and yet they had never been brought up and she’s just now meeting them.

        “Oh um, about four years.” Jasper answered. Clarke’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped slightly. Four years and she had never met them? 

        “You guys all seem so close, why haven’t I met you guys before?” She asked, playing with her fingers nervously.

        “I’m sorry, I can’t.” Bellamy suddenly shouts, pushing his chair back and storming outside.

        Clarke didn’t know why, but she  _ needed _ to run after him. So, she did.

        He was sitting on a bench when she got there. His head was in his hands and he was trembling slightly. It broke her heart. Clarke quietly walked over and sat down next to him. He lifted his head up and she was met with the saddest eyes she had ever seen. She could actually feel her chest tighten at the sight. 

        “What are you doing?” Bellamy asked, wiping his nose with the sleeve of his sweater.

        “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” She replied, playing with the hem of her shirt and looking at the light rain hit the pavement.

        “Why? You don’t even know me?” There was a bitter laugh that followed and Clarke wondered how one sentence could sound so broken and melancholy. 

        “You’re right.” She sighed, running her fingers through her blonde hair. Why did she think this was a good idea? He obviously wanted to be alone and he was right, she didn’t know him. So, then why did a part of her feel like she did?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> thank to my canadian, bella, for reading over things and saving my life, bless

      Everything hurt. Seeing her again was burning everything inside of him. Her hair was shorter than he remembered it ever being and the light was gone from her eyes. He wanted desperately to reach out and call her _princess_ , but he knew she wouldn’t understand and he couldn't stand to see more confusion behind those blue eyes.

      “You’re right.” She said while his heart shattered into thousands of pieces and it became harder to breathe. She sounded sad and slightly annoyed as she ran her fingers through her hair. He thinks these words are what broke him.

      Bellamy stood up, not even saying goodbye, and walked quickly to his car, tears pouring from his eyes, mixing with the rain falling on his cheeks. He dug out his keys from his jacket pocket and hopped in his car, hoping to get away as fast as he could.

      Before stepping in, he looked back to where Clarke still sat with her head in her hands. Something tugged on his heart as he fought every urge inside of him telling him to go back to her. He started his car and he was gone.

_Her laugh echoed through her small bedroom, bouncing off the walls and he swore it was his favorite sound in the world. Her head rested in his lap as she explained her day with Wells. He played with her hair and smiled, this was his favorite place, with her._

_“I told him to just talk to her but instead he walks up to her and literally pours his drink down her shirt.” She giggles loudly, covering her mouth._

_“Wells is an idiot when it comes to her. I can definitely relate.” Bellamy smiles, wiping the stray hairs from her face as she goes to sit up next to him._

_“You can relate to being an idiot when it comes to Raven?” Clarke smirked with her brows raised. Bellamy rolled his eyes and swatted her arm lightly._

_“No, you dork, when it comes to you.” He said, placing a kiss on her forehead. She sighs, smiling and Bellamy really couldn’t believe how lucky he got with her._

      “I’m fine, O.” Bellamy groaned over the phone, retrieving a beer from his fridge.

      “Don’t forget that I grew up with you and know when you’re lying. You’re obviously not fine. I know this is hard for you, but the doctors said she’d be back to normal soon, you just have to wait it out.” Octavia explained. He could hear the frustration in her voice and he rolled his eyes at his little sister giving _him_ orders.

      “I just don’t get why we can’t tell her. Why keep it all a secret?” However, he did know why. She’d be more confused than she probably already is, living a life and then being told you lived a different one would break her. He knew how Clarke thought and if she knew she was hurting everyone around her, unintentionally of course, she would snap.

      “Not this again, Bell. Do you want me to come over?” He smiled despite his situation.

      “No, it’s fine. I’m just going to read, drink some cheap beer, and eventually fall asleep.”

      “Alright. Don’t think too much.” He rolled his eyes, as if. “Night, love you, Bell.” He returned it before hanging up the phone and throwing it on the couch next to him.

      As he sat on the couch, beer in hand, he couldn’t help but think of Clarke. She was everywhere and nowhere. It was so hard to breathe without her. How was he supposed to move on when the one person who made him feel whole was now a stranger? She left a huge whole in his heart and he wasn’t sure if he’d ever recover, how could he?

_“Clarke.” He groaned, coughing slightly as he tried sitting up._

_“No, do not move.” Clarke shouted from the kitchen. She walked back over to him, a tea cup in hand and a worried expression. “How are you feeling?” She asked, placing her hands on his forehead. It wasn’t good, if her expression was anything to go by._

_“Hey, I’ll be fine. It’s just the flu.” Bellamy said, trying to comfort her even though he was the one who was sick._

_“That’s what my mother said, Bell, and we all know how that ended.” His face dropped at the memory of Abby Griffin lying in a hospital bed, speaking her last words to her daughter._

_“Nothing is happening to me.” He said sternly, grabbing her hand and kissing it softly._

_“Nothing is happening to you.” She repeated, a single tear running down her cheek._

      Bellamy wiped the tear from his eye and downed the rest of his beer. He didn’t realize how life had gotten this messed up. He was happy, the happiest he had ever been. He was working his dream job as a writer, him and Octavia were on good terms again, he had finally paid off his student loans, and he had fallen in love with the most wonderful woman and get this, she had fallen right back.

      His finger hovered over Clarke’s contact name in his phone, _Princess_ , he was so tempted to hit call. He just wanted to hear her voice, even if just for a second.

      So he did, he hit call.

      “Hello?” Clarke answered, her voice groggy with sleep. Bellamy looked down at his watch and mentally slapped himself when he realized it was nearly two in the morning.

      “Oh shit, sorry. I didn’t realize how late it was. Uh- it’s Bellamy.” It felt weird having to say this. She would usually recognize his voice. Things were different now.

      “I figured as much, considering your name is in my contacts.” She chuckled. Bellamy frowned, wondering why they hadn’t erased it. “Anyway, what is it? It’s pretty late, Bellamy.” Hearing her say his name was everything and yet, not enough.

      “I know, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” He psychically cringed as how shaky his voice sounded. She didn’t say anything so he continued. “I was kind of a dick today, I’m not usually like that, it’s just things are hard.” He explained, hoping with everything that she wasn’t angry with him for how he acted.

      “It’s alright. If you ever want to talk about her, feel free. I have some experience in losing people.” She tried to joke but it fell flat. He sucked in a deep breathe at this, he couldn’t exactly talk about it, not with her.

      “Um, no, it’s fine. Sorry I called. Bye.” He hung up and dropped his head in his lap, feeling worse than he did before. Talking with her when she had no idea who he was was like a punch to the face.

      Why did it have to hurt so much. A part of him wished he had never fallen in love with her, if he hadn’t, things would be easier. But, he knew, deep down, he wouldn’t trade Clarke Griffin for the world.

 

      “I’m going to punch him in the face.” Bellamy practically growled, glaring as Clarke laughed at something Finn had said. “Who the fuck invited him anyway?” He couldn’t for the life of him, figure out why Clarke’s ex-boyfriend, the man who cheated on her, was here.

      “Bellamy, calm down, no one invited him. It’s not like this place is unpopular.” Murphy said, taking a sip of his drink. He was right, The Dropship was a pretty popular bar in town, but still, seeing Finn Collins flirt with Clarke made Bellamy see red. He knew what happened and yet, here he was, using this as an opportunity to sneak up on his girlfriend.

 _Not your girlfriend_ , he had to remind himself.

      “Shut up, Murphy.” He grunted, taking another shot. He didn’t even know why he was here. It’s not like he enjoyed being surrounded by sweaty adults who acted like teenagers. In fact, he’d rather be home and he knew Clarke would too. She hated places like this, so why did she look like she was having the time of her fucking life with Collins.

      “I can actually feel the anger radiating off of your body.” Raven said, sliding in the seat next to Murphy. Bellamy rolled his eyes at his already drunk friend and looked back at Clarke, who was now dancing with Finn.

      “I’m seriously going to kill him.” He threatened. Raven rolled her eyes at this. “You don’t have a problem with him here?” He asked, knowing the history between Finn, Raven, and Clarke.

      “No. Normally I would, but that’s the most I’ve seen Clarke smile since getting out.” She shrugged, getting back up and walking over to Wells.

      Bellamy’s chest tightened at her words and he gripped the edge of his seat so hard his knuckles turned white. He was angry before, but now he was livid.

      “Excuse me while I go politely interact with Finn Collins.” Bellamy said, standing up from his seat. Murphy just chuckled and rolled his eyes, obviously amused.

      Bellamy walked slowly towards them, his anger only increasing the more he realized how right Raven was. He hadn’t seen Clarke laugh this much since the accident. Especially, not with him.

      Now, he swears he was only going to trick Finn into going elsewhere so he could talk to Clarke alone, but well, things escalated as soon as he saw Finn press his lips to Clarke’s. That’s how Finn ended up with a bloody nose, Bellamy with a busted lip and fractured hand, and his friends banned from The Dropship.

      No one said anything as they ubered to his house. Impenetrable tension filled the car and Bellamy could feel Clarke’s stare burning into his skin. He was an idiot, he knew this, but he also couldn’t help the satisfied smirk that hung on his lips as he replayed Finn’s shocked expression and bloodied nose in his head. It was dumb, but it was worth it.

      “So, you going to tell us what the hell that was about?” Octavia said, crossing her arm in his living room where everyone sat.

      “Needed to blow off some steam.” He shrugged, grabbing a bottled water from the fridge. His sister rolled his eyes at him and Bellamy was pretty sure that was the only expression she ever had towards him.

      “You need to wrap up your hand.” Clarke said quietly from the couch. Bellamy glanced at her and smiled softly. He should’ve known. “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?” He wanted to stop her and tell her he was fine but the thought of being close to her overwhelmed him into silence as he followed her to his bathroom. He looked back and noticed his friends looking at him with a unsure expression. He nodded to reassure them.

      “First aid kit is under the sink.” Clarke nodded before digging out a wrap and some rubbing alcohol. She stood towering over him as he sat on the toilet seat waiting for her to say something. She was biting her lip, a nervous tick, and not meeting his eyes as she poured the liquid on a small towel.

      Clarke reached up and pressed the cloth to the cut in his lip. She tilted his head up and sighed. Her fingers were cold on his skin but he didn’t mind, at least she was here.

      “Why are you helping me? You don’t even know me.” Bellamy said, trying to move his chin out of her grip before he did something he knows he’d regret.

      “I went to medical school.” She simply stated, releasing his head, now grabbing onto his hand. Her brows were furrowed in concentration as she neatly started wrapping up his hand. Bellamy wanted to say something. He missed her so much. “Why’d you do it?” She looked up at him, her blue eyes brighter under the bathroom lights. “And don’t give me a bullshit answer like you needed to blow off some steam.” She mocked, rolling her eyes slightly.

      “Finn’s not a good guy.” Bellamy ran his good hand through his hair, annoyed that he even had to have this conversation. “He was dating Raven while also dating somebody else. You should stay away from him.” He flinched at his words, knowing Clarke hated being told what to do.

      “I’ll keep that in mind.” She finished wrapping his hand and put the first aid kit back under the sink. “You’re all set.” She said, patting his wrapped hand lightly.

      “Thank you.” Bellamy smiled and when Clarke smiled back, he thought, _maybe we'll be okay._


End file.
